nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues
FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident. That means that some guy decided, “Whoa, this smells a lot like grapes,” and now everyone pretends it’s grape-y, too…
It tastes like an accident
In health class we were given sheets of paper and told to write a message we would want someone of the opposite sex to know
She read some examples
The girls were like: “Hey can you please not treat me like shit”
The boys were like: “Spray tans look ugly I hate when girls wear too much makeup and don’t lead me on.”
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly
thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh
i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
i fucking love you